My family is so beautiful. I have yet to meet this one, but I have a seven month old nephew, Noa. Who I can already tell has his moma's huge smile. I need to get to Hawaii ASAP.

But, I have realized that this week is one of three school weeks left before Christmas break/ me being home for 6 weeks. I can't wait to get back to the bay. This is the longest that I have been away from home in my life. Even at Idyllwild I managed to get home on a weekend, but I guess thats because an hour flight is very different than a 5 hour flight, when you're lucky to find a non connecting. Normally my travel time is around 7 or 8 hours all together because of changing flights in Las Vegas or Chicago. I have also never spent this much time outside of California, which is crazy. I have not been home for te month of October in two years, which is quite sad because October is one of my favorite months in Berkeley. When the leafs on the trees up Forrest St. are al over and I get to jump in them. The leaves here aren't as crunchy. Maybe its because they're not as big.

My parents are coming to see my show this weekend. I am in the Community Theatre of Greensboro's 14th annual production of The Wizard of Oz, which is pretty intense. But I am very excited that I get to see the fam the week before thanksgiving and my birthday.

I've been thinking a lot latley about distractions, because I am the queen of distractions. I find myself caught up in them all the time. One phone call, or instant message, from the person who I most want to hear from but not at that particular moment can completely throw off my entire day, or weekend... or month.

It may have been one of the shortest most life-changing events of my life, but I don't know if I've ever cried over one person so much. And the tears weren't always about being upset with the situation, which I was. The tears were about the fact that something truley amazing happened and in the blink of an eye it was gone. They were tears of joy and disbelief at the same time. They were about the fact that I had finally found something, someone, who cared and then it was over. And having it pop up on my screen after three months of nothing............. I couldn't handel my summer because of you, and I couldn't handel being in Berkeley, and I couldn't handel anything. I finally found myself because of you, truley started to understand myself. And then poof. Gone. I really was looking forward to seeing you too... even if I knew how it was going to end up.